My life is a crossdressing elf
by happy molecule
Summary: Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli and Sam go to rescue Arwen from the evil clutches of Frodo complete!
1. Aragorn is completely shocked

A/N: Well this is a sequel to my other fic "my life is a wedgie".  You don't really need to read that, but it would be helpful.  Whatever's written in italics is written by fellow author edgy wedgy.  Bold is written by "A Class Superior" / "A Class Sarah" (I'm not sure which she uses!  And it may still change…)

This is basically what happened in the last one:

The fellowship (minus Boromir, of course) set out to buy Legolas a new bottle of shampoo from the supermarket.  Along the way, Gandalf, Merry and Pippin died.  Legolas and Gimli proclaimed their love for each other, Sauron was killed and Sam's name was changed to Samfatandgayandstupid.  When they finally got to the supermarket, they were joined by Arwen, who suddenly announced that she is, in fact, a man.  That is where we pick up today's chapter……

_6:23 AM__:_

_Oh my gosh!  My beloved Arwen is A MAN!  Nooooooooooo…..!_

_6:24 AM__:_

_She's (he) just informed me that I'm a woman, and they've kept it from me ALL THIS TIME!_

_WHAT THE……..?_

_6:25 AM__:_

_Ok, I've just considered the matter carefully.  If Arwen's a man, and I'm a woman, then it's all good_

_6:25__ and a half AM:_

_But that means I can't play the dominant male figure!  Damn!_

_6:25__ and two halves AM:_

_And if I'm a woman, why do I have a penis?_

_6:26 AM__:_

_I just asked Arwen that and she said that only women have penises.  Oh._

6:27 AM:

So now I'm a woman…………..uh………….what do I do now?

6:28 AM:

Arwen just informed me that I should shave.  What the hell is that?!

_6:29 AM__:_

_Great, it means the removal of facial hair!  Too much trouble!_

_6:30 AM__:_

_Ok, I don't think I can take being a girl, so I should prove my manhood.  It means I'll have to work with Legolas and Gimli, the gay guys._

_6:30__ and a bit AM:_

_They've just told me being a man involves being able to sing really high.  Help._

_6:30__ and two bits AM:_

_I just had a fantastic idea.  So I said "show me".  And they are looking stunned._

_6:30__ and three bits AM:_

_Arwen has started singing.  Really high.  Help_

_6:31 AM__:_

_I'm trying to sing high, but they're all laughing at me.  What did I do?_

_6:32 AM__:_

_OhO.  A scary man called Mr Tate has put me off writing for a while.  Sorries._

6:33 AM:

Ok he's gone now so I think I have regained my courage to write.  YAY!

6:34 AM:

Being a woman trying to prove my manhood is toooooooooooo hard……….I think I'm going to invent theft!

6:35 AM:

Ok, so I can't song high.  What else could I do to prove I'm a man?

6:36 AM:

Legolas and Gimli said that I should be able to bake a cake.

6:37 AM:

WHAT THE HELL IS A CAKE?!

6:38 AM:

Ok, now I'm in the supermarket trying to cook a cake.  Ok, what the hell is Tabasco sauce?!  I wonder what it tastes like…………..

6:39 AM:

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6:40 and 3 drops of Tabasco sauce AM:

Ok, maybe I should ask someone what I need.

6:41 AM:

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…………lets ask……………..

6:42 AM:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

6:43 AM:

IT'S SARUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**6:43**** and a bit AM:**

**Ok, now it's time to prove my manhood.**

**6:43**** and a half AM:**

**I just threw a packet of cake mix and Saruman told me to piss off you girl.  Ok, he's going to die.**

**6:44 AM****:**

**Hey, I just had an idea.  I could ask Saruman about being a man.**

**6:44**** and a bit AM:**

**He told me I had to wash my hair.  I give up**

**6:44**** and two bits AM:**

**Also I have to clean and grow my nails.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!**

**6:45 AM****:**

**Saruman's chasing me and I'm trying frantically to run out of the supermarket! Noo!  Can't-let-him-catch-me!!!**

**6:45**** and a bit AM:**

**Just grabbed a pair of earplugs and stuck them in my ears.  Couldn't stand Saruman yelling at me about permed hair.**

**6:46 AM****:**

**Back on my faithful horse, and galloping away from that horrible place.  What is that coming towards me?  It's-**

**6:46**** and a bit AM:**

**Oof.  The 'faithful' horse just threw me to the ground and went running towards the ladies' room.**

_6:47 AM__:_

_I'm chasing after the horse and pushing open the door to the ladies room_

_and_

_I_

_can_

_tell_

_you_

_that the 'women' in this room look like MEN!  LONG HAIR, LONG NAILS, NO BEARDS.  HELP!_

_6:50 AM__:_

_I'm running as fast as I can, Legolas is screaming at me but I can't make out what he's saying because the sound is not reaching my ears.  I don't think I can take it.  I don't know if I want to be a man.  It seems like so much trouble, I think I'll just submit to Arwen.  Just get me out of here!_

_6:51 AM__:_

_I'm all puffed out.  I've stopped running.  Arwen is clapping.  She says I have proved my manhood through my smooth and light-weighted run.  They call that clunking a "smooth and light-weighted run" ?!_

_6:51__ and 30 seconds AM:_

_Wait a second (hahaha, second, get it? Hahahaha)_

_She just said I'm a MAN!  I'm an MAN!!  YAY!!!!!!  I'm so happy, I'M SO HAPPY I CAN SING!!_

_*music note* Aragorn is a man *music note*_

_                     He is as strong as any man_

_                    He will make you seem like a woman_

_*music note* Cos Aragorn is a Man! *music note*_

_YIPEE!_

_6:52 AM__:_

_Oh wait, if I'm a man, and Arwen is a man, then I CAN'T MARRY HER/HIM!!_

_6:53 AM__:_

_Legolas has just informed me that I'm not REALLY a man.  I'm just a woman-man, so I can still marry Arwen._

_6:54 AM__:_

_I just asked him if he has a penis.  He has gone bright red._

_6:55 AM__:_

_Legolas just broke down and told me the whole thing is this giant joke.  I asked him that if it's a joke, why isn't it funny._

_6:56 AM__:_

_He says it is, but no-one's laughing!  Huh?_

_6:56__ and a bit AM:_

_So I asked if Arwen is a man._

_6:56__ and a bit more and my breath is held……:_

_NO!  She's a WOMAN!!  Oh thank my sweet __Ada__!  She's a woman!_

7:59 AM:

Oooopsies, sorry I got a bit carried away celebrating with Arwen the fact she's a woman

8:00 AM:

Legolas is still crying so now Gimli's hugging him.

8:01 AM:

Oh no!  Gimli's pant just fell down!  

8:02 AM:

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!  What the hell is that?!

8:02 and a bit AM:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!  My eyes!  My precious eyes!

_8:02__ and a bit AM:_

_Apparently it's a secret knife he keeps in his pants in case he gets disarmed.  BUT WHY THERE?!!_

8:03 AM:

Well now I find Gimli very scary

8:04 AM:

Legolas has stopped crying now.  He is trying to choose a flavour of shampoo.

8:05 AM:

doodely doodely doo…………

8:10 AM:

Tra la la la la…….

8 :11 AM :

Still waiting………….

8 :12 AM :

……………….

8:13 AM:

Hey!  Where'd Arwen go?

8:14 AM:

Oh no!  I think I losted her!  

8:15 AM:

Hey, what's that noise?

8:16 AM:

It sounds like a scream…..

8:17 AM:

Oh no!  It's Arwen!!!  

8:18 AM:

And she's being kidnapped by Frodo!  It seems that he too is in love with my beloved!

This week's stupidity was brought to you by a boring science lesson


	2. Inside the castle

A/N: Ok I began to upload this story like last year or something and I never got around to typing up the rest.  Hope you like it!  Oh and by the way, in case I never mentioned this before, this format is based on the "My life is a toilet/wedgie/boob tube" series by Gretel Killeen which you should all totally read.

8:19 AM:

Must go rescue Arwen!

8:20 AM:

Legolas will not leave until he chooses a shampoo.

8:21 AM:

I said we'd leave without him.

8:22 AM:

Gimli said he wouldn't leave without Legolas.

8:28 AM:

I said we'd leave without him too.

8:29 AM:

Sam just announced that he's not leaving without Mr Frodo.

8:30 AM:

I just informed him that Mr Frodo had already run off with my beloved Arwen.

8:31 AM:

Samfatandgayandstupid seems completely lost.

8:32 AM:

I am surrounded by idiots.

8:33 AM:

_Actually I think I was always surrounded by idiots.  I only just realised._

_8:33:30 AM__:_

_Which makes me slow_

_8:40 AM__:_

_Which makes me stoopidth_

8:50 AM:

Hey!  I'm not slow!

8:51 AM:

Aaaaargh! Must make Legolas hurry up and choose a damn bottle of shampoo so we can rescue my fair maiden from the clutches of the evil Frodo.

8:52 AM:

Hey!  That sounded quite poetic! :)! 

8:53 AM:

I know! I'll threaten to chop his legs off!  Then he'll really be legless (Legless! Get it?  Ah hahahahahahahahhahaha!!!!!!!)

_8:54 AM__:_

_I just called "Legless!" (because I like that name so much better) "Hurry up and choose!"_

_8:54__ and some bits AM:_

_He just yelled back "my name is not Legless!"_

_8:54__ and some more bits AM:_

_I just shouted "Well if you don't hurry up, that nickname may have more meaning!"_

_8:54__ and lots of bits AM:_

_Legless called, "Yeah, and ACORN may be a better name for you when I turn you into one!"_

8:55 AM:

What the hell?! Honestly that makes no sense whatsoever.  

_8:56 AM__:_

_What to do?_

8:57 AM:

Ah ha!  I have a brilliant idea!

8:58 AM:

I just told Legless that Gimli likes elves with dirty hair.

8:59 AM:

Legless is looking at me doubtfully.

9:00 AM:

I just told him that dirt is a real turn on for dwarves.

9:01 AM:

Legolas believed me!  He threw away all the shampoo bottles and declared that we must go and rescue Arwen at once!

9:02 AM:

I am so brilliant.

9:07 AM:

We are now following Frodo.  Which isn't very hard because he keeps drawing arrows in the dirt, saying "I am going this way".  What an idiot.

9:08 AM:

The arrows have lead us to a giant castle.

9:09 AM:

A giant PINK castle

9:10 AM:

Pink is such an ugly colour.

9:11 AM:

Brown is such a better colour.

9:12 AM:

Oh no!  There aren't any doors in this castle.  How are we going to get in?!

9:13 AM:

Gimli suggested we tunnel under the walls.

9:14 AM:

Legolas screamed at the thought of getting dirty.

9:15 AM:

Legolas is still screaming.

9:16 AM:

Still screaming.

9:17 AM:

Still screaming.

9:35 AM:

Still screa- wait Legolas just remembered that I told him that dwarves like dirt, so now he's agreeing with Gimli.

9:36 AM:

Nuts.

9:37 AM:

Ok fortunately I've just come up with a better idea.  

9:38 AM:

We are now preparing to throw Samfat through the wall, soz he's so fat he'll make a hole in the wall.

9:39 AM:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

9:40 AM:

He's

9:41 AM:

too

9:42 AM:

HEAVY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

9:43 AM:

Trying

9:44 AM:

to

9:45 AM:

catch

9:46 AM:

breath

9:47 AM:

*pant*

9:48 AM:

*pant*

9:49 AM: 

That evil traitor Frodo just yelled out "Go away!"

9:50 AM:

Sam yelled back "I'm coming Mr Frodo!"

9:51 AM:

Sam is now "running" towards the pink monstrosity.

9:52 AM:

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!

9:53 AM:

That's disgusting!!!!!!!  All his fat is wobbling everywhere!  I feel sea sick.

9:54 AM:

Sweet Valar, make it stop!!

9:55 AM:

Sam just ran through the wall of the castle.

9:56 AM:

YAY!  Now there's a giant hole in the wall.

9:57 AM:

Now I'm in the castle.  AND IT'S STILL PINK!!

9:58 AM:

OK now I'm definitely going to be sick.

9:59 AM:

YAY! The walls are no longer pink.

10:00 AM:

They are now a disgusting mixture of green, red, brown and yellow.  Eeeeeeeeeew……

10:01 AM:

Well it's better than pink.

10:01 AM:

Now I must find Arwen!

10:02 AM:

Where is she?

10:03 AM:

Well this just sucks, doesn't it?!

10:04 AM:

Ah ha!  I know!  I'll use my magical Arwen-finding powers.  

10:05 AM:

Ow!  I just ran into a wall!

10:06 AM:

YAY!  I found a sign saying "Arwen is this way"!

10:07 AM:

Must do a little dance to celebrate.

10:08 AM:

Me doing a little dance:  
            o  
            |  
           / \

10:09 AM:

Wait.  Which way is "this way"?

10:10 AM:

I am completely confused.

10:11 AM:

Someone's calling my name.

10:12 AM:

IT'S ARWEN!!!!!!!!!!

10:13 AM:

Am now following the sweet sound of my darling's voice.

10:14 AM:

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I found her!!!!!!

10:15 AM:

How rude!  Someone's poking her!

10:15 and 30 seconds of listening to something for kate:

Someone ELSE is touching MY Arwen!!

10:16 AM:

Ok they are officially dead!

10:17 AM:

I just yelled at them to "get away from MY Arwen!!!!!!!"

10:18 AM:

They're turning around.  OMG, it's……….

A/N: Any guesses as to the evil Arwen-poker?  Aw I love Something for Kate; they rock!


	3. Arwen's secret

10:19 AM:

"DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

10:20 AM:

OMG my daddy, Arathorn, stole my beloved!

10:21 AM:

How rude

10:22 AM:

I just yelled, "What the hell?!  Daddy you're dead!"

To which he replied, "No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!  I saw you die!"

"No, that was the OTHER Arathorn."

10:25 AM:

…………….?

10:32 AM: 

"Well then, who are you?"

"Arathorn."

10:33 AM:

I am COMPLETELY confused.

10:34 AM:

"Well what are you doing with my beloved Arwen?"

"She's my beloved Arwen!"

"No she's not!"

"Yes she is!" Dad yelled.  "She's my wife!  And you're mother!"


	4. A green elf

10:35 AM:

Arwen is my mother?!  That's sick!

10:36 AM:

Arwen looks as shocked as I am.

**10:36**** and a bit AM:**

**But she's only PRETENDING to be confused.  She's CHEATING ON ME!!!**

_10:37 AM__:_

_Oh my gosh, this is SO GROSS!  I'VE BEEN ROMANCING WITH MY MOTHER!_

_Ew!  Ew!  Ew!  Puke!  Puke!  Puke!_

_10:38 AM__:_

_And who does my mum think she is to tell me she's a man and I'm a woman?  What's her problem?!_

_10:39 AM__:_

_Too choked.  Can't write._

_10:40 AM__:_

_I can't believe Arwen is my mum.  ARWEN IS MY MOTHER!!  How could she?  Why?  Doesn't she have any morals?  Any values?  Any sense of responsibility?_

_10:41 AM__:   
Oh well, she's a good kisser!  It's all good!_

10:42 AM:  
Do you think it's illegal to marry your mother?

10:43 AM:

I can hear someone screaming.

10:44 AM:

It's Legolas!

10:45 AM:

Oh well

10:46 AM:

Legolas is calling for me to help him.  Well screw him.  He made me go to the supermarket.

10:47 AM:

Now he's threatening to kill me if I don't help him.

10:48 AM:

Can't

10:49 AM:

help

10:50 AM:

him.

10:51 AM:

Too

10:52 AM:

busy

10:53 AM:

making

10:54 AM:

out

10:55 AM:

with

10:56 AM:

Arwen.

10:57 AM:

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm………………..

11:00 AM:

Now he's threatening to steal my shoelaces if I don't help him.  Oh no!  I better go and help him right away!

11:01 AM:

Where the hell is my shirt?!

11:02 AM:

Oh no!  Legolas is screaming again!  Screw my shirt; I must fond him at once!

11:03 AM:

Running up stairs.  Looking incredibly sexy, as always.

11:04 AM:

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarragooooooooooooooooorn!!!!!!!!  HELP MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

11:05 AM:

Ah hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaqhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaqhahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11:19 AM:

Sorry, I couldn't write there for a bit because I was laughing too hard.

11:20 AM:

LEGOLAS IS GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**11:27 AM****:  
Ahahaha!  A green elf!  That's classic!  Hahahaha!**

**11:28 AM****:**

**Must-compose-heehee-myself.  Legolas is threatening to steal my shoelaces again.**

**11:29 AM****:**

**Asked him how he turned green.**

_11:29__ and ¾ AM:_

_He says that he's always been green._

_11:29__ and 5/__6 AM__:_

_I told him that's stupid; he's always been UN-green.  But NO!  He says that he's always been green!_

_11:30 AM__:_

_Maybe, just maybe, he's COLOUR BLIND and someone told him that "white", or whatever colour he sees is "green" so wow, he's stupid!_

_11:31 AM__:_

_Yeah, that's probably write.  Legolas the stuupidd ellf._

_11:32 AM__:_

_I just yelled "haha, you stupid colour blind green elf! and he snorted._

_11:32__ and a bit AM:  
Wow, I dunno if it's good or bad, but upon snorting he choked and is coughing madly._

11:33 AM:

Now Legolas is turning brown….he looks pretty like that…

11:34 AM:

Legolas is now turning black.

11:35 AM:

He looks even prettier.

11:36 AM:

Uh oh.  I think he's dying.  

11:37 AM:

Oh well.  Shit happens.

11:38 AM:

Gimli just ran in and yelled "Oh no!  Master elf!  I'll save you!"

11:39 AM:

Teehee!  He's too short to reach Legolas!

_11:40 AM__:_

_I'm so bored.  Legolas is STILL dying!  I mean, die or live, just hurry up, alright?!_

_11:47 AM__:_

_Legolas has decided to live.  Great.  _

11:48 AM:

Legolas has now gone back to a fluorescent green.

11:49 AM:

Hey, why was he green in the first place?

11:50 AM:

He said he ate too much snot and turned green.

11:51 AM:

His snot's green?  Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!

_11:52 AM__:_

_Wait a sec, my snot's green too...ew…_**well at least I don't eat it!**

**11:53 AM****:**

**Just out of curiosity, I told Legolas to turn back to brown.**

**11:53**** and a sec:**

**OMG, he turned brown!**

**11:54 AM****:**

**I told him to turn yellow.**

**11:54**** and a second AM:**

**And guess what?  He did!**

**11:55 AM****:**

**This is cool.  I can tell Legolas to turn any colour and he will.  Heehee…I'm wonderful…**

**11:56 AM****:**

**Now I have Legolas flashing colour every split second…hehe..Look!  Pink!  Red!  Purple!**

**12:00 PM****:**

**But Gimli's really pissed at my 'making fun of' his beloved lf.**

**12:00 PM****:**

**Argh!  He's rushing at me with his axe!**

12:01 PM:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12:02 PM:

Teehee!  Gimli just tripped over his beard which somehow magically regrew after it got eatened by Mr Lamington the Third.  This is my opportunity to escape!

12:04 PM:

I'm now running away from Gimli as fast as I can.  Which, of course, is very fast.  And Gimli's chasing me as fast as he can.  Which, of course, with him being a dwarf and all, is barely faster than a hobbit.

12:06 PM:

I just ran into another room and slammed the door.  Now Gimli can't get me!  Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa-uh oh.  I'M LOCKED IN THE ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I CAN'T GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12:09 PM:

Damn!  Now I'm hungry!  And because I'm locked in this stupid room I can't get any food!

12:11 PM:

Wait a second.  I appear to be locked…IN THE KITCHEN!  YAY!

12:12 PM:

Oh no!  Arwen's locked outside!  I'm  going to have to cook for myself!

12:13 PM:

I'M DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!!!!!!!!!

12:15 PM:

Ok, calm down.  I can look after myself.  I'm the leader of the Dunedain!  I've lived with Elrond for 20 years for crying out loud!  I'm sure I can manage to cook for myself.

12:16 PM:

I CAN'T COOK!  I'M GOING TO BE HUNGRY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12:31 PM:

Sorry, I couldn't write for a second there.  I was *pant* having a *panic* panic attack.  But I *pant* think I'm *pant* ok now.

12:32 PM:

Ok, I remember Arwen tried to tech me how to cook-what was it again? Uh……………….toast?

12:33 PM:

TOAST?!  WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!

12:34 PM:

Ok think Aragorn.  I need some…uh…b-bread?

12:35 PM:

Ok, I'm looking in the cupboards for bread.  I don't see any "bread".  I do see some "nail polish".  Well, I know that Legolas uses that a lot, and he loves Lembas, and Lembas is sorta like toast, so maybe "nail polish" is like "bread".

12:36 PM:

Ok, pouring "nail polish" into a strangely shaped box which is apparently a "toaster".

12:37 PM: 

Ok, now what do I do?

12: 38 PM:

I just heard a voice in my head which said "listen to the voice in your head".  Well obviously I'm already doing that!  Stupid voice.

12:39 PM:

The voice said, "hit your head on the table."

12:40 PM:

Ow!!!!!!!!!!!!  I just hit my head on the table and it REALLY hurts!!!!!!!

12:41 PM:

Oh no!  I think I'm bleeding!

12:42 PM:

The voice just said, "No you stupid human!  The OTHER voice!"  

12:43 PM: 

Honestly, how many voices are there?!

12:47 PM:

Hey!  I'm not human!

12:48 PM: 

Ok, the voice just told me to push down the button.  Pushing it down………………..

12:49 PM:

BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12:50 PM:   

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!  FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!  
  


12:51 PM:

Running away from fire now!  HELP MEEEEEEEEEE!

12:52 PM:

Oh no!  Gimli's chasing me again!  Doesn't he ever give up?!

12:54 PM:

YAY!  I found Arwen!  She'll protect me from the evil dwarf!

12:55 PM:

Now I'm safe :)  It's all good………………..

12:56 PM:

Arwen's looking at me.

12:57 PM:

OMG is she SMILING?!

12:58 PM:

OMG!!!!!!!!  SHE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1:03 PM:

Sorry, I couldn't write for a while. I was just so overwhelmed by the fact that Arwen was smiling that I had to sit down.  Anyways, she just said, "Estel, I have something to tell you."

1:04 PM:

Sweet Valar, she's not going to tell me she's a man again, is she?

1:05 PM:

She just informed me she's pregnant.

1:06 PM:

I just reminded her that that's not possible since Elrond "accidentally" castrated me when I was 10.

1:07 PM:

She just asked me how the hell she got pregnant then.

1:08 OM:

I said I have absolutely no idea.  

1:09 PM:

Wait a sec..What's that laughing?!

1:10 PM:

It's coming from behind that tree.

1:11 PM:

It Eowyn.  And she just looked really creepily at Arwen, grinned really joyfully, and said,

"Hello my darling wife."

1:12 PM:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

THE END….

A/N: Gotta go, very tight netball game!  YES!  SYDNEY WON!!!!!!!  WITH ONE SECOND TO GO, SYDNEY BEAT MELBOURNE!!! HAHAHAH!  SUCKED IN!  OMG I burnt my hand earlier and do u know how hard it is to type with one hand?!


End file.
